aly's wonderland

Frat the Man, the Cutie, the Foodie

*Disclaimer: Names and places have not been changed to expose the innocent. This story is a gross misrepresentation of what really happened, and some of the content may be offensive to the reader.

I’ve been naughty. Very, very Naughty.

A few months ago I met a cheeky chappy called Frat Mustard, the voice of theQguides.com.

Ever since then, he’s been in my head. Our relationship grows stronger everyday, as his looks get better and better. I find myself checking his blog on a regular basis, just to be a little closer to this pint sized wonder. Oh Frat… I think to myself… will you ever notice me?

And then it happened. We were side by side, on a tentcard together at the launch of theQguides.com.

Foodies all across the country joined in the celebration of the launch of theQguides.com and Fay Khoo’s Best Eats KL, and proceeded to pimp our tentcard! I’m no fool. I know it’s Frat they want. Everybody luuuuurves Frat…

And baby, it’s Frat that I want too…

Up close and Personal with the voice of theQguides.com, Frat Mustard

Scene: 830 pm, a restaurant somewhere in  PJ. Aly is overdressed and Frat is limited on time. He’s standing on his laptop, wearing his sexy glasses and bowtie, belt slightly undone.

ME: So, Frat… (nervous laughter). Ahem…(clears throat subtly) I read your blog. A lot. I really liked your latest post… where you end with “I think I have to do my writing when I am high… because when I am high, I am certainly not dry”. WOW. Inspired.

FRAT: (deep, husky voice) Fantastic Aly! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! (jumps on Aly’s head and ruffles hair)

ME: Well… (giggles like a schoolgirl) I just want to know… (*bat* bat* eyelashes) What is your blog really about?

FRAT: (Smiles Confidently) Well, although I am pretty much in the F&B industry… it certainly isn’t supposed to be a food blog (although, I do feature restaurants from time to time)! My primary objective is to help the Malaysian F&B industry grow and develop so that it benefits everyone from vendors, diners and restaurateurs. This means the content could be anything from “how to improve your bottomline” for restaurateurs and “how to appreciate blue cheese” for diners. At theQguides.com we feel that if the industry as a whole grows… we are able to grow too!

ALY: (more schoolgirl giggling) Hehe… so you’re a bit of everything really, kinda like an F+B Maverick? About the same size as Tom Cruise in Top Gun but much cuter!

FRAT: Erm… (Uncomfortable laughter). Yeah… I guess so (smiles, and looks around the roomdistractedly)

ALY: (oblivious to Frats discomfort) So that’s the other thing I wanted to ask. Can you tell us more about theQguides.com. And are you single?

FRAT: (ignores the second question) Well Aly, theQguides.com is Malaysia’s premier online restaurant booking service. The latest edition of Best Eats KL — published under the newly formed theQguides imprint — by Fay Khoo is now available in major bookstores nationwide.

The launch of the guide was simultaneous with the launch of sister website theQguides.com which will enable web users to access a similarly extensive database of places to eat around KL. Most importantly, this milestone web venture will enable users to make reservations online whilst also collecting points which can be redeemed for free meals at leading restaurants around the Klang Valley. Apart from the convenience to be gleaned from booking online, the free meal points will serve as an excellent vehicle for introducing foodies to the many wonderful eateries around town.

ALY: Ummm… (scratches head) Can you explain it to me in English please?

FRAT: Basically – BOOK, EAT, BE REWARDED. Simple. And it benefits both the users and the restaurants. Both the book and the website will serve as hardworking ambassadors to establish KL’s well-deserved position as a gastronomic destination of note, around the world.

ALY: Oooooh! That’s soooooo exciting! (squeals). And you’re so passionate about what you do! I love it! (claps hands excitedly). Can I ask you a few…( pauses, bats eyelashes again) personal questions?

FRAT: Sure (takes a sip of his drink and clears his throat)

ALY: Are you a spiritual man? (Leans forward eagerly)

FRAT: I am spiritual (smiles, and takes a deep breath). I love all forms of spirits… especially whiskey.

ALY: Oooh, me to! (flirty laughter). Well, actually not really… I’m more of a beer girl…

FRAT: Okay. (discretely signals waiter for the bill). Next question?

ALY: So, Frat… (seductively reaches over and tries to feed Frat) Tell me, what is your favourite food?

FRAT: Well Aly, (tries to wriggle away) I love Char Siew, Siew Yok and Bak Kut Teh. W00tz!

ALY: Ohhh… (gushes) I love a man who loves his meat! Do you like Weisswurst? (more batting of eyelashes) – because I do…

FRAT: Erm… Yeah… (tries to wriggle away again, and changes the subject). I prefer lobster…

FRAT: I’m frequently caught saying… ”COME LARRR!” and “Chow-tut!” Loose translation: “Let’s eat, peeps, I’m D*** hungry-lah! Ready to overdose on food!”

ALY: Oooh… A man who knows what he wants! And you can eat a lot?

FRAT: Yeah, I’m a Bottomless pit with a cause. The Green cause… Go St. Patrick’s Day!

ALY: What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done? (smiles cheekily)

FRAT: Well, I often participate in stupid dares and bets… because I rule! (boisterous laugh) And, I love to PARTAY!

ALY: I love to Par-taaaaay too! Ahem… (tries luck again) Are you single?

FRAT: (Takes a deep sigh, places a RM 50 note on the table and stands up, and doesn’t wait for his change). I am single.

FRAT: E-mail me frat.mustard@theQguides.com … ladies only… and no fat chicks! Thanks for the interview Aly, I gotta run…

ALY: (Calls after him) Wait! Does that mean I can email you? When will I see you again?

………… SILENCE ……………..

- The End -

* Special thanks to Frat for reluctantly supplying some of the photos, without which this post would not have been complete.